From friends to lovers, and vice versa

My friend Judy is in a relationship with her former best friend. They say that's the best foundation for a great relationship. Before they became lovers, there was no reason to assume in them becoming a couple. They talked to each other about their separate love lives and acted like them weird selves. There was no make-up or politeness involved. 

After a year of being the best of friends they where again talking about their boring love life. One of them was in a dead-end relationship and the other was single. It was saturday night, and while they were actually supposed to watch 'the other woman' that was on TV that night, they looked each other in the eye. They both knew what was going to happen. Both afraid, because if their relationship wouldn't work out, there friendship would also be ruined. They kissed. And not only kissed. They sealed there relationship upstairs in Judy's bed. And a golden couple was born. 

They had the best relationship. Nothing really changed. Only for them; they got the best sex life. They both knew exactly what the other person wanted, because they told each other when they still where friends. 

When I went for a coffee last week with Judy I still assumed that their relationship was perfect. Judy told me otherwise. The romance was gone. They still had sex, the good talks and the laughs, but it started to feel more like friends again. She was very upset. If she would break-up with him, she would not only lose her lover, but also her best friend. 

They went from friends to lovers, back to friends again. 

When I got home that night, I couldn't help but wonder, is it possible to be friends with an ex? I'm sure those kind of couples do exist. Who help each other to find a new match or who encourage each other to go on that date. But that's one out of a million. What happens with all the other exes? 

Judy and her boyfriend are still together, 'working on it'.

Mister perfect

Valentines day.. I bet every single creature on this planet thinks it is a day full of bull shit. I am single.. I think it's bullshit. I'm not sure wether it's about the fact that other people shove their relationships in your face, or if it's about all the broken promises life makes you. I mean, as a little girl I watched a lot of romantic movies, where they promise you that there's a perfect person for you. You just have to wait. You're the shy girl? The popular guy will fall in love with you! You're stunning, but can't seem to find a guy that wants you? After one and a half hour you will be married and live happily ever after.

So many broken promises. In secondary school I was the unpopular shy girl, with a few friends of my own kind. I had always been sure that the popular guy had a big crush on me. When I creepily stared at him during class, I sat there thinking about our grand-children, how we could tell them how the beauty and the nerd fell in love with each other, not thinking about all the 'rules'. How he first had a relationship with a cheerleader, but he always knew, deep down inside his heart how much he loved me. 

Was I really that naive? I lived by the rules of a romantic comedy that I saw on a girls night with all my single friends. I believed they would live happily ever after, after that one great kiss in the rain, in front of all of their friends. 

I try not to fall for these movies anymore, but how easy is it to believe in the perfect guy that will change for you. It's nice to believe that those kind of men do exist when you got -again- disappointed by a guy you once thought was different. Would we still look for mister perfect if it wasn't for these movies? Would we settle for less?