From friends to lovers, and vice versa

My friend Judy is in a relationship with her former best friend. They say that's the best foundation for a great relationship. Before they became lovers, there was no reason to assume in them becoming a couple. They talked to each other about their separate love lives and acted like them weird selves. There was no make-up or politeness involved. 

After a year of being the best of friends they where again talking about their boring love life. One of them was in a dead-end relationship and the other was single. It was saturday night, and while they were actually supposed to watch 'the other woman' that was on TV that night, they looked each other in the eye. They both knew what was going to happen. Both afraid, because if their relationship wouldn't work out, there friendship would also be ruined. They kissed. And not only kissed. They sealed there relationship upstairs in Judy's bed. And a golden couple was born. 

They had the best relationship. Nothing really changed. Only for them; they got the best sex life. They both knew exactly what the other person wanted, because they told each other when they still where friends. 

When I went for a coffee last week with Judy I still assumed that their relationship was perfect. Judy told me otherwise. The romance was gone. They still had sex, the good talks and the laughs, but it started to feel more like friends again. She was very upset. If she would break-up with him, she would not only lose her lover, but also her best friend. 

They went from friends to lovers, back to friends again. 

When I got home that night, I couldn't help but wonder, is it possible to be friends with an ex? I'm sure those kind of couples do exist. Who help each other to find a new match or who encourage each other to go on that date. But that's one out of a million. What happens with all the other exes? 

Judy and her boyfriend are still together, 'working on it'.

Fairy tales and monogamy

I'm one of the only singles in my group of friends. Yes, that has bothered me. On every social media platform, my friends shared their most beautiful love stories, photo's and statuses. It looked like everybody was happy and had completely forgotten about me.

It was not until one of my dear friends told me about her boyfriend being the worst kisser, not something you see on Facebook, Twitter or tumblr, but you have to meet up for to hear about. Was I that blind and naive to believe all the statuses?

Now I can't help but wonder, is it just social media that fools us these days, or is it our mind that tricks us into believing fairy tales? Every girl, and maybe also every boy, dreams of certain things in life, and as long as we think it exists, are we willing to believe in it?

The beautiful man, bit muscled, sweet, understanding and whit a goal in life. I want it to exists, I see him in every man I cannot get. So in my world, he still did, I just did not run into him yet.

It was until my dear friend Macy told me that monogamous relationships do no longer exist. Have they ever existed? I did not want to believe her. I mean, I was still waiting for mister perfect to run into my life. My mister perfect, the man I would marry, would not ever cheat on me. I mean.. I believed in it... But since she told me, I can't help but noticing all the flaws in every relationship.

Even my friends that are in a happy relationship are dreaming of other men. Or thinking about their life after their current boyfriend. There is no man, who does not watch other women. They call it pure lust, but as long as that is all that it is, how can it be cheating?

If it's true, if everyone is cheating, how can it be that that much couples break up after one of them sleeps with someone else? The only reason I can find is the lack of trust, the lying afterwards.

Wouldn't it be easier if we all just accept that monogamous relationships do not exist, have never existed, and never will. That we could sleep with whoever we want, but share love with the one you really love? It's just lust..