The truth

I just got of the phone with Macy. She is in her first relationship since 4 years and she's having a hard time. He's not the kind of guy that replies to his whatsapps right away, or comes on time when they actually have plans.. He needs his space and she is willing to give that to him. Well.. that's what she thinks. But he keeps asking for more.

The guy she has been dating for a few months now is not very good at explaining himself. He's not from here and his dutch / english is the worst. Macy knows what he tries the say most of the time, but when she shows me something he said, I have no clue. They had some issues in the beginning, they misunderstood each other most of the time.

When Macy called me, she was pissed. The guy had been texting her things that weren't very nice. Afterwards she send them to me, so I could read them and tell her my thoughts on it. To be honest, I didn't see the problem. He was just telling her that he was very bussy and sorry he didn't reply. That she should stop thinking that he was mad or something. This is how Macy explained to me what he said: 'He told me that he was bussy. I mean... I give him so much space, can't he just tell me what the fuck he's doing. And how dares he to say that I shouldn't think that he's mad. I AM MAD!' 'Yes Macy, I hear you Macy.. But that's not really what he said you know. Read it again..' Eventually I calmed her down.

But it got me thinking. Do we woman only hear what we want to hear? 

Woman stay woman when a man says something. We, the sex called woman, tend to change nice compliments into insults. 'You look nice today.' 'What do you mean? Did I not look nice yesterday?' Why is it so hard for woman to just hear what a person has to say?

I see the same problem when my parents are fighting. When my mom is mad at my dad she yells and screams, but my dad forgives her when she tells him, she's sorry. When it's the other way around and my dad is mad at my mom and he says things he doesn't mean, he has to hear about it for days.

I guess it's true that women are the more complicated sex.

Most man are simple minded. When a man tells you that you look nice today, he really means that you look nice today. Take the compliment woman! It has nothing to do with yesterday, last week or any other day.

Do we woman, ever say things that are completely true. An example, when a friend gained some pounds and mentions it, all we say is 'don't be silly, you look amazing'. We will never just tell them, that indeed they lost some pounds, but look fabulous anyway. That the skirt she's wearing is a bit to short, and that silly hairdo, is really not for her. As woman we tell each other lies, so we expect from men to do the same.

But in all honesty... do we want to know the truth?

Fairy tales and monogamy

I'm one of the only singles in my group of friends. Yes, that has bothered me. On every social media platform, my friends shared their most beautiful love stories, photo's and statuses. It looked like everybody was happy and had completely forgotten about me.

It was not until one of my dear friends told me about her boyfriend being the worst kisser, not something you see on Facebook, Twitter or tumblr, but you have to meet up for to hear about. Was I that blind and naive to believe all the statuses?

Now I can't help but wonder, is it just social media that fools us these days, or is it our mind that tricks us into believing fairy tales? Every girl, and maybe also every boy, dreams of certain things in life, and as long as we think it exists, are we willing to believe in it?

The beautiful man, bit muscled, sweet, understanding and whit a goal in life. I want it to exists, I see him in every man I cannot get. So in my world, he still did, I just did not run into him yet.

It was until my dear friend Macy told me that monogamous relationships do no longer exist. Have they ever existed? I did not want to believe her. I mean, I was still waiting for mister perfect to run into my life. My mister perfect, the man I would marry, would not ever cheat on me. I mean.. I believed in it... But since she told me, I can't help but noticing all the flaws in every relationship.

Even my friends that are in a happy relationship are dreaming of other men. Or thinking about their life after their current boyfriend. There is no man, who does not watch other women. They call it pure lust, but as long as that is all that it is, how can it be cheating?

If it's true, if everyone is cheating, how can it be that that much couples break up after one of them sleeps with someone else? The only reason I can find is the lack of trust, the lying afterwards.

Wouldn't it be easier if we all just accept that monogamous relationships do not exist, have never existed, and never will. That we could sleep with whoever we want, but share love with the one you really love? It's just lust..

How social media runs our love lives.

Does it make me desperate? Waiting for an answer for a question I asked on Facebook chat.. Maybe, I mean probably. But I just can't help it. As soon as I say something to a certain someone I need a response right a way. First minute of waiting: hmmm, I could have said it in another way. Minute 2: god.. I definitely said it the wrong way.  Minute 3: I lost a friend. Minute 4: that's it, I can better move to another planet. I can go on like that, but that's just how my mind works. After the person replies, I will close the Facebook screen and wait for a few minutes before I respond, I do not wan't to look like a stalker, you know.

I am waiting for a reply know. And while typing this, I can't help but wonder, how impatient are people these days? We know how late we said a certain something, how late they received it, read it, and how late they were online. We get mad when people are not replying right away.

What's up with all these different types of communicating with each other, does it really make us more social or is it just a way, of being even more occupied with the idea of knowing what other people do. I have to admit that I can't go a day without checking twitter. I have to know what my friends do, with who and how they feel about it. This is horrible, because when I read about them having fun with someone else, the only emotion I feel, is jealousy. When there are no updates, I'm annoyed. I have to know what they do.

Has social media really brought some nice things? Probably. My dad always mentions the fact of getting in touch with people they used to know. But once you know their story there's nothing left interesting about their lives you want to know. And is there really something you want them to know about your life. Probably only the big things that make you feel happy and popular. But that's just not how things work.

Still waiting for a certain someone to reply. Time to leave.