The (not so) blind date

So... I got a date. A blind date you could say. It's a friend, from my best friend's boyfriend. (read that again). The classical story of getting fixed up with your best friend's boyfriend's best friend. Oh boy.. can this ever go right?

Ever since my bestie has a boyfriend, she's trying to fix me up. She wants to the whole double dating thing, and the going on vacation together thing. And all I want is just going out, kiss some guys I have never seen before and will never see again and yet still have I agreed to do a double date. Why? Because I'm a good friend and ready for some action.

Hello all man in this little world. It is true. Women want sex just as much as you do. Ever since my first time I haven't slept with anybody. I didn't get te change since I have been very occupied with college, but now I think it's time. So I accepted the invitation. Does that make me a bad person? Probably not, because a lot of people do it. Does dat make me a slut? Maybe, but I've got needs, K?

In all honestly, I'm not very attracted to the guy. He's totally not my type, but ever since I knew about his existence and his will to date me, I can't help but fantasizing about it. I've never really done the dating thing, it makes me all nervous and insecure, but I'm sure that with a few drinks I will be all comfortable and fun.

So.. I still got some time to mentally prepare myself. But I don't think I ever will be. So I guess I just have to get mortal.

The bad friend

Macy and her boyfriend are together for three months. And as I told you before, they already had some issues. I really thought it wouldn't last but today I had some news. And for me it is bad news; they're moving in together.

Well hello. What happened with all these problems? Did they just vanished after they bought a coach together? Yes! They already bought a coach together. I can't believe it. I'm both sad and excited. Sad because she will live an hour away from me. She will live with her boyfriend (which makes sense when you move in together), which means that she will not have as much time for me as before. Excited because I know that this is what she wants and I want her to be happy.

Sometimes I think the worst things when I feel alone and she has no time for me. Then I hope they will break up so that everything will go back to normal again. I know that that would break her heart, so after I am rational again, I oblige myself to feel bad about it.

I know it's normal that when you're both single, you have loads of time together, and that that will change after one of you gets a boy or girlfriend. Especially in the beginning it was very hard and I felt sad, because we used to spend all our weekends together (now I haven't seen her in four weeks, just saying..).

I was okay with it, I got a little used to it, but now that I know that they're moving in together, I'm back in hating mode. I'm so frustrated and sad, but I know I have to get over myself.

I wonder when she will come with the news that they're having a baby. o m g

I have to stop hating about love. But I love being her friend and I feel her drifting away from me. -whine-

The truth

I just got of the phone with Macy. She is in her first relationship since 4 years and she's having a hard time. He's not the kind of guy that replies to his whatsapps right away, or comes on time when they actually have plans.. He needs his space and she is willing to give that to him. Well.. that's what she thinks. But he keeps asking for more.

The guy she has been dating for a few months now is not very good at explaining himself. He's not from here and his dutch / english is the worst. Macy knows what he tries the say most of the time, but when she shows me something he said, I have no clue. They had some issues in the beginning, they misunderstood each other most of the time.

When Macy called me, she was pissed. The guy had been texting her things that weren't very nice. Afterwards she send them to me, so I could read them and tell her my thoughts on it. To be honest, I didn't see the problem. He was just telling her that he was very bussy and sorry he didn't reply. That she should stop thinking that he was mad or something. This is how Macy explained to me what he said: 'He told me that he was bussy. I mean... I give him so much space, can't he just tell me what the fuck he's doing. And how dares he to say that I shouldn't think that he's mad. I AM MAD!' 'Yes Macy, I hear you Macy.. But that's not really what he said you know. Read it again..' Eventually I calmed her down.

But it got me thinking. Do we woman only hear what we want to hear? 

Woman stay woman when a man says something. We, the sex called woman, tend to change nice compliments into insults. 'You look nice today.' 'What do you mean? Did I not look nice yesterday?' Why is it so hard for woman to just hear what a person has to say?

I see the same problem when my parents are fighting. When my mom is mad at my dad she yells and screams, but my dad forgives her when she tells him, she's sorry. When it's the other way around and my dad is mad at my mom and he says things he doesn't mean, he has to hear about it for days.

I guess it's true that women are the more complicated sex.

Most man are simple minded. When a man tells you that you look nice today, he really means that you look nice today. Take the compliment woman! It has nothing to do with yesterday, last week or any other day.

Do we woman, ever say things that are completely true. An example, when a friend gained some pounds and mentions it, all we say is 'don't be silly, you look amazing'. We will never just tell them, that indeed they lost some pounds, but look fabulous anyway. That the skirt she's wearing is a bit to short, and that silly hairdo, is really not for her. As woman we tell each other lies, so we expect from men to do the same.

But in all honesty... do we want to know the truth?

From friends to lovers, and vice versa

My friend Judy is in a relationship with her former best friend. They say that's the best foundation for a great relationship. Before they became lovers, there was no reason to assume in them becoming a couple. They talked to each other about their separate love lives and acted like them weird selves. There was no make-up or politeness involved. 

After a year of being the best of friends they where again talking about their boring love life. One of them was in a dead-end relationship and the other was single. It was saturday night, and while they were actually supposed to watch 'the other woman' that was on TV that night, they looked each other in the eye. They both knew what was going to happen. Both afraid, because if their relationship wouldn't work out, there friendship would also be ruined. They kissed. And not only kissed. They sealed there relationship upstairs in Judy's bed. And a golden couple was born. 

They had the best relationship. Nothing really changed. Only for them; they got the best sex life. They both knew exactly what the other person wanted, because they told each other when they still where friends. 

When I went for a coffee last week with Judy I still assumed that their relationship was perfect. Judy told me otherwise. The romance was gone. They still had sex, the good talks and the laughs, but it started to feel more like friends again. She was very upset. If she would break-up with him, she would not only lose her lover, but also her best friend. 

They went from friends to lovers, back to friends again. 

When I got home that night, I couldn't help but wonder, is it possible to be friends with an ex? I'm sure those kind of couples do exist. Who help each other to find a new match or who encourage each other to go on that date. But that's one out of a million. What happens with all the other exes? 

Judy and her boyfriend are still together, 'working on it'.